Is Autism or ADHD, Trauma or hypervigilance or just feeling unfair.

Is it an Autism or ADHD thing to feel angry at how little other people pay attention to? Or see? Like how little other people see those around them or how little brain power is spent holding others or space for others. anticipating others needs, desires, wants. the shift in habits, in tone, in body language, how someone shifts when they are hurting. I thought everyone saw these things and took internal notes remembered them and adjusted themsevles to make space for them but i'm starting to see that many don't or never did and i am jealous of how much energy this frees up and also fustrated and how little it means others are looking out for me. At least not in the same way i look out for them and its so isolating. I know it's not possible to fully know what goes on or what other people do or think. In the specific example I'm thinking of with A, I know he's mentioned that he does check on me since my accident. I don't see it or feel it, so I have no proof of it. Is this just an example of the millions of tiny things people do for us or think about us in ways we never see? Or is this some kind of saving grace script they've crafted to avoid the guilt of neglegence.