When?

When will I stop feeling so shitty? And will drugs get me there faster?

Seriously, I think each moment I'm begining to understand why people drink. I'm feeling bad, I am what's causing this "feeling" thing, so if I where to face my fears about losing control/liver/addictions/becoming one of "those people" and drank myself stupid. I would be without control, and without control I cannot feel bad because I won't be thinking about this whole mess, why? Because I won't have control.

I swear if country music starts making any more sense (the lyrics, I haven't listened to any of it, don't shoot me yet) kill me.