Saying out loud really doesn't make it feel better.

I feel really stupid, weak and alone.
And I just want to crawl into bed and cry or into someones arms and just stay there.

I just have this overwhelming sense of inner cold. I feel utterly empty and just wretched.
It's as if my self worth, power, determination and everything that made me myself is gone.
And I am weak and scared.
Mostly afraid that for once I am afraid and afraid over what I may do to get something anything to make things seem better.

I feel a bad path approaching and some dumb choices.

When you need the worst kinds of comfort, where do you go to get it? And how badly will you be burned?

When?

When will I stop feeling so shitty? And will drugs get me there faster?

Seriously, I think each moment I'm begining to understand why people drink. I'm feeling bad, I am what's causing this "feeling" thing, so if I where to face my fears about losing control/liver/addictions/becoming one of "those people" and drank myself stupid. I would be without control, and without control I cannot feel bad because I won't be thinking about this whole mess, why? Because I won't have control.

I swear if country music starts making any more sense (the lyrics, I haven't listened to any of it, don't shoot me yet) kill me.