Its both kinda scary and sad

But sometimes I just really miss those younger days.
In middle school, eating disorder in full swing.
Because honestly, those days chocolate did make your day.
Eating, was a huge acomplishment
and over eating was the best high.

Both best and worst of all,
was that every mishap,
mistake, cruel look or word,
action or when people left you..
They all had once simple awnser:
Because you're fat.

My celluloid was to blame for all my woes.
The cruel words were directed at my appearance and I felt small
worthless and alone because of my flab.

But I grew older.
And now the better part of me knows (or pretends to)
That my weight, while ugly and not ideal,
is not the end of the world.
My fat isn't ruining my life.
And people don't hate it.
My weight holds no (excuss the term) weigh over my life.

The down part is
when you sit and feel alone
Cry over someone or what they've said and done.
Realize that people are still cruel and you still have no friends.
So... if people aren't hating your fat
all thats left is you.

Something inside you
who you are.
Its You, who's to blame.
And every hurtfull thing that is ever said.
Is directed towards you.

Theres something wrong with you and it's all your falt.
And your left alone, with no fat cells to sheild you.