Arg

Well I just bombed another midterm, the last one will be chemistry which is one of the hardest but I'll study full time and go to help. Maybe just maybe if I know it all well enough I won't blank out on the test.

Fuck though, I was pretty confident with physics I mean come on I have a sheet FULL of all the info I need, step by step, so why the fuck couldn't I get it? I'm thinking maybe I should have just come down this year, sat in on lectures, bought the books, read and did practice problems off someone else's assignment, then maybe next year I would have been able to take the class and pass without wasting the money.

I have English now, and it's not really enjoyable anymore either. I really liked my prof but just really put me off when I sent her an e-mail inquiring how I could pass in my essay after I went and paid the 4$ to have it printed and going to her office to leave it for her, but the she wasn't there and her office was closed for the week. :sigh:
And I have that big essay coming up which apparently we should already be researching, plus normal assignments and this huge Bio lab after class I still haven't found answers to.

And I haven't eaten, I tried but the food in the cafe was too gross that I just couldn't and I severely lack the funds to go out, not to mention the time. I know it's no big deal and worst case I fail the classes and do it all again next year, but who's to say I can manage it then? I actually knew the materials for the last two exams, I aced the practice questions and then just blanked. I can't take any fewer classes or no loan, which means no money and no schooling. I love sciences, I really really do, heck I like English too. I even like learning and studying, but I can't afford to keep this up if I won't be able to make it pay off latter.

Maybe I should put some serious thoughts into other options, I've just never considered them so I have no idea where to look or start. Maybe I can just do enough activist work and get tossed in to jail every other year to survive. At least that would be enjoyable to do.